Rapport is an easy, quick, and simple process. Have you ever noticed what it's like when two people get along perfectly? When can they find common ground and every word that is said makes sense while you understand each other non-verbally?
Every gesture, every smile, the way you pronounced each word was pleasant and you knew that the person you were talking to understood you and it felt like a harmony of two similar people who had a lot in common? Sometimes rapport happens naturally. We have all had experiences where we ‘hit it off’ or ‘get on well’ with somebody else without having to try.
Rapport is an emotional connection or relationship with someone else. It can be considered as a state of harmonious understanding with another individual or group. Building rapport is the process of developing that connection with someone else. However, rapport can also be built and developed consciously by finding common ground and being empathic.
Feedback is the basis for the rapport building technique. We adapt our outward expression (verbal – active listening and non-verbal – body language) to the other person and are open to the fact that our inner state will adjust accordingly. In this way, through external expression, we can also gradually get into a similar mental state to that of our partner. Remember: you just need to observe, listen, adapt our outward expression and willingly accept changes in our mental state.
It is only a little more difficult to establish rapport with the group. The principle is the same as with an individual: you adapt your outward expression to the prevailing expression of the group.
Rapport building requires a reliable and versatile set of interpersonal skills, as well as the ability to empathise with others' feelings and adapt. It requires you to listen more to others and try to understand them and focus less on your own agenda or angle point of view. And that's the most challenging thing about rapport.
There are four cornerstones of rapport: honesty, empathy, autonomy, and reflection (the ability to listen actively).
Six key active listening skills include: Paying attention, withholding judgement, reflecting, clarifying, summarising, sharing.
There are also four main communication styles:
How to handle confrontation: when you are debating or contradicting someone, be honest and direct. Don't attack, don't punish and don't be sarcastic.
How to capitulate: when you need to back down or show respect, do it with humility and patience. However, avoid showing weakness and insecurity.
How to gain control: good leaders are clear, in control, set a plan and support others. They are not demanding, dogmatic and pedantic.
How to establish cooperation: When you want to make a connection, show affection, interest and a sense of belonging. Give yourself but be careful not to slip into excessive joviality and misplaced intimacy.
Building rapport is even more important in crisis. It is a component that helps you to leave the other persons feeling safe and respected, with developed mutual trust, so the action during the crisis can be successful.
This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.
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